It’s good to be queen

Andy Warhol, Queen Elizabeth II, 1985, Royal Collection

(overheard – Queen Elizabeth II on cell talking to her stylist of eleven years, Stewart Parvin about the acquisition of the Warhol prints)

Stewart, when you come up, bring a gin and that beastly pillbox.

Yes, yes. I’m fine. Just reading up on reviews of my Diamond Jubilee. It’s just the bees knees. Don’t you think it’s gone swimmingly so far? The paracute out of the plane at the Olympics was genius. And that Daniel Craig – brill.

Don’t forget the updated wardrobe spreadsheet. I need to approve next month’s ensembles. I do believe we forgot to log the Hermes scarf I wore yesterday. Bollocks – these readers!

I saw it on the tele, yes –  I’m absolutely cheesed about Harry’s naked bum pictures and Kate’s as well. Brings down the Royal brand, of course. PR is casting about for a new image to release for the media to bandy about. Preferably one that’s clothed.

Oh the Warhol prints? Those were ages ago – 1977 as I recall.  My he was a cheeky monkey.

I don’t know, Stewart. I think the colors are quite too garish. Do you think the public will like to see them at Windsor?

But I’ve run through my art allowance this year.  I could approve a petty cash expenditure.

Oh, alright, they are modern, sigh.  Send up the Royal gallerist.

Don’t forget the gin. And Stewart, I won’t wear the cornflower blue pumps until Lilly breaks them in again. They still pinch.