Mona Lisa’s Twinkie

Guess what Lisa dear- you’ve got some serious Spanish competition.  That’s right, the Prado Museum unearthed a blackened copy of you in their vaults and have restored her.  It turns out she was painted right along side you in Leonardo’s studio.  Probably by DaVinci’s apprentice and possibly brushed by the master himself.  I think you are going down as the queen of iconic art, because she is well. . .sooo much prettier!

Yes, I hear a great yawp the halls of the Louvre.  I’m sorry m’ lady, but you’re a middle-aged dud.   You are small and rather drab, under layers of brownish glaze. Your face puffy, your eyes swollen.  Just not a winning combination in my book.  Frankly, the Cole Porter song about you is better. BTW I’ve got a little place around the corner that can fix you up with some nice eye-lash extensions (wink Cosmetic Ultralounge).

Your twin sis, however is young and vibrant.  She looks at least 20 years younger blushing a fresh pink glow and chestnut highlighted locks. She’s got the eyelash extensions I suggested (nice eyebrows), and thrown on a little lip gloss to boot.  The delicate blues and golds of the imagined backdrop set off her complexion nicely.  The harsh rugged landscape contrasts with her soft sweetness.  I hate to break it to you, but after 500 years of undisputed reign, you’ll soon reunite with her, side by side at the Louvre.  Mano-y-mano (or is that mona-y-mona?) competing for the crown. Sadly, there are no planned restoration projects in the works for you.  Who will the public decree is the prettiest one of them all?

A detail of the nearly-conserved Prado copy of the Mona Lisa (Photo: © Museum Nacional del Prado)

A detail of the nearly-conserved Prado copy of the Mona Lisa (Photo: © Museum Nacional del Prado)

Mona Lisa also La Gioconda or La Joconde, Leonardo DaVinci, Louvre, Paris France

Mona Lisa also La Gioconda or La Joconde, Leonardo DaVinci, Louvre, Paris France

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/02/mona-lisa-copy-done-hand-_n_1249931.html?ref=arts  To see the video


A boudoir photo perhaps?

Francisco de Goya y Lucientes, Nude Maja  Prado Museum, Madrid Spain

Francisco de Goya y Lucientes, Nude Maja Prado Museum, Madrid Spain

So how about a racy photo for your Valentine?  This lovely lady certainly agrees.  However the Inquisition did not, and confiscated this pair of peek-a-boo paintings. Which do you think the church disapproved of?  Or approved of so much that they decided to snatch them? To quote Monty Python, “no one expects the Spanish Inquisition, ” and naughty Goya had to answer to Senor Inquisitor in 1814.

Francisco de Goya y Lucientes, Clothed Maja, Prado Museum, Madrid Spain

Francisco de Goya y Lucientes, Clothed Maja, Prado Museum, Madrid Spain

The reclining naked lady has a glorious history in art but not so much in Spain (Velasquez painted Venus 150 years prior, but only a back view). The “odalisque” (in art speak) has been painted since antiquity, but normally in the context mythological stories or biblical allegory.  Goya tried to pass this off as Venus and thus sanitize it for the Inquisition, but no one was fooled.  Why would you paint a fully clothed Venus?   Nah. . .This was Godoy’s (Spain’s power broker at the time) mistress giving us a “come hither” look — definitely not in the tradition of spiritual purity. These hang on the same wall at the Prado which gives you chance to study them side by side, although the clothed one probably hung over the nude one in Godoy’s palace.

No surprise, Goya spent much more time on the nude lover.  Her body transects the plane of the canvas on an almost perfect diagonal giving a sense of motion to the relaxed figure. Which also puts the pelvis front and center.  Hmm… certainly not Venus here, lads.  And I love the lacey pillowcases, don’t you? Is it just me or is she sucking in her tummy?


Oooo…is that Prado you’re wearing?

Woman in a black Hat Kees van Dongen. Oil on canvas, 100 x 81.5 cm. 1908. San Petersburgo, State Hermitage Museum

Woman in a black Hat Kees van Dongen. Oil on canvas, 100 x 81.5 cm. 1908. San Petersburgo, State Hermitage Museum on display Prado, Madrid

The Prado in Madrid is Spain’s version of the Louvre. Lo siento, Espana, no one can top the Louvre. But that’s no reason to miss this national treasure.

I wish I had done a leeetle more research on Ms. Prado Museo though, because it is, well. . . labyrinthine.  I foolishly started at the beginning, where your teacher always tells you to start.  Right? Don’t. Unless you like antiquities and Flemish art.  You know all those shiny still life’s of fruit and flies.  Lots of men in puffed sleeves and feathered hats.

You must know exactly what you want to see so you won’t get “museum eye.”  You know, that glassy far off stare when you know you should be enjoying this if you were cultured, but you’d really like a Sangria instead?

So here are my top pics.  Forgo the first wing of the museum and vamonos  to the new part (the expansion) for the good stuff.  Of course if you like Goya, you should go straight to his galleries because he was the court painter of Spain for forever and you really can’t beat his  lace.  But lots of royalty here (now where did I put that tiara?)

I will put in my plug for the El Greco galleries.  They are tremendous.  Not everyone likes him, but I Heart him big time. Lots of saints in silks.

They are rearranging much of their collection (which is what all top-notch stylistas do) so just ask someone if you get lost.

Hermitage section IX has the fun twentieth century art. My great Prado memories were here, close to the inside cafe where my friends spent most of thier time. . .drinking Sangria.

BTW don’t you just covet her eyebrows?